Book Review: Feeling Fate by Joni Sensel

Feeling Fate by Joni Senses

I'm currently writing a memor, so I've been doing a lot of reading in the genre lately. Somehow, though, I missed reading Feeling Fate by Joni Sensel, which came out in 2022 from She Writes Press. Thank goodness I bought a copy from the author after attending her presentation at a writer's retreat, because it would have been a shame to miss this gem of a book. Heartwrenching yet uplifting, earthy yet spiritual, and at times even funny, this memoir is written in the form of a love letter to Tony, Joni Sensel's deceased partner. In it, the author paints a picture of her and Tony's larger-than-life romance, which was marred only by her premonition that she would soon lose him. In spite of her foreboding, which she made a decision not to share with Tony, she launched into their life together full-tilt. When, after four wonderful years, her premonition came to pass, she was forced to use the intuition and imagination that had served her so well in her relationship to navigate the overwhelming darkness of her grief. Although it could be depressing, Sensel manages to make her story inspiring, insightful, and ultimately, full of hope.

I learn so much by reading and analyzing other writers' memoirs. Here are a few of the many nuggets I took away from this one:

Showing is great; telling can work, too. From the start of my writing journey, I've had the show-don't-tell mantra drummed into me. But in this case, since the memoir is written in the form of a letter, many scenes are told about rather than shown. Dialogue is sparse. But instead of making the reader feel distant from the story, the approach works.

This makes me wonder if, perhaps, I'm actually doing too much showing in my own book. There may be scenes that would be better experienced from the outside rather than having the reader live through it as I did, moment by moment.

Feel free to use alternative techniques to tell your story. Sensel sprinkles non-narrative sections in with her prose, including lists (What I Noticed About You), advertising copy (A Message from a Sponsor), and even equations (The Math of a Compassionate Universe). These sections add interest and humor and vary the pacing.

I've been experimenting with some non-narrative sections in my memoir. I've included a list of names my friend and I called each other, as well as a list of songs on one of the mixed tapes he made for me. After reading Feeling Fate, I may decide to add more.

Don't shy away from tough emotions. I won't lie. Reading about the grief Sensel experiences after her partner's death isn't easy. The rawness of her pain bleeds through the pages, and I found myself shocked by her admission that she considered suicide. Several times, my eyes teared up, and I felt the devastating loss right along with her. That's what a good memoir does: it gives you the opportunity to spend some time in another person's skin and learn from their life experiences, no matter how difficult.

I'll draw inspiration from Feeling Fate as I tackle the many tough emotional scenes in my own memoir. If I can channel even a portion of Sensel's fearlessness, I know my readers will be moved.

If you're looking for a memoir that will make you laugh and cry, make you think and question the very meaning of existence, Feeling Fate just might be the perfect read for you.